Wednesday, February 9, 2011

get a @#$%ing clue already damn it.

so some people in this world think that i'm a slut. and maybe they're right. people can think whatever they want to.  and there are some people out there that think that i just kiss them because that it's all lust or whatever.

well guess what.

i've only kissed like 5 people in my entire life. so call that number a slut? ha.
i know people in their 20s 50s and even like 60s. so get off my damn back.
and it's not like i'm sleeping around. good lord. i'm a virgin people!

and I might think that i'm a slut, but i know what's in my heart and no one else does.  i have never kissed a guy that i haven't had feelings for AT THAT TIME.

i guess that all of this valentine's day shit is getting to me. ugh.... what a horrible holiday. i never have anyone for this damn day. does it bother me? maybe. just a little....

oh. and another thing..... I HATE BEING SET UP. i can't even express how much i hate it.  matchmaking is only fun for the matchmaker when it comes to me.  i've had "help" that has blown up in my face, or screwed me over, or honestly the timing is just WRONG.

no one else can tell me who to like, or who to date, or anything like that.  and thinking that you can change me is bullshit. and you should know me well enough by now to know that it won't work.

i am who i am. i like who i like. i will forgive even when i don't want to because that's what i believe is right. i will date who i want to, and WHEN i want to.

did you ever stop and think that maybe i wasn't ready to date? did you ever stop and think that maybe i didn't WANT to date all of your old boyfriends/friends. no you didn't.
maybe you thought that it would make me happier? well in that case i appreciate the gesture, but no thank you. i'll handle this myself, MY WAY. and when i've healed.
you can't live through me.
and you can't force me. ha.... THAT method has always failed

dating will not magically heal the hurt in my heart. sorry to disappoint you.

no one can figure out your life for you, so please stop trying to write my story.

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