i listen, watch, and feel...as the world sleeps around me. alone....

walking on a tight rope, and i'm good at it
so high, i can touch the stars
and use the moon for light like it's daytime
dancing on that thin wire, free, smiling, loving
watching as the world sleeps

there's a snap
the once secured wire lashes out across my chest as i fall
and suddenly i'm falling faster then the blood can flow

time slows, and i look around.
familiar faces...each one different as i descend to earth
a pair of eyes watch me fall. like freezing ice
but a surprising shade of brown that captivates me as i'm flailing
a pair of hands reach out, but they don't really bother trying to catch me
a bruise appears, the shape of the hands

next a face attached with loving arms, reaches up
more strength this time, clawing to try to hold on and defy gravity
skin is lost, more blood now
but still i rocket to the ground

more faces more faces more faces....
they all pass.
every time more effort. but it just destroys me before the ground can have a chance
bones break
blood flows freely
pieces from my chest are lost.
from the left, where the vital organ lies.
or it did, before.....

the only pain i feel is from my chest wounds
my eyes are clear
my ears perfect
i can see, hear, and feel

release. i wish for it.
but i'm not ready
i'm not ready
i'm not ready
i can't let go, not yet.
where is he???

i see my last familiar face
my last chance.
hands touch
eyes meet
the world goes quiet
locked in a solid grip.
calming, reassuring, safe.
yet again brown eyes, but this time different.
different face, and nothing is frozen there
trust
hope
pray
believe, that he might save me.

i believe i believe i believe
i have to
i'm not ready for this to by my grande finale
i want to keep dancing.
the songs of my heart have not been heard!
and one hand was all it took to stop time

i force myself to break the eye contact.
i look down at my mangled body
it's gone.
all those pieces added up.
the hole is black, something so vital
i have nothing left to give

tears stream from my eyes and i look back up
i'm dangling from one hand
a beautiful, strong, confident one.
but i can't
i'm not sure if it's real.
what if the face is a ghost
the trust, the hope, the believing...
i let go
i let go of it all

horrified, the beautiful brown eyes watch
i love you
i love you
i love you
i'm sorry.

i make contact with the ground
i don't feel the pain anymore
the link to the pain is gone
replaced by a hole
the dust settles and fills it.

i am done

i lost.

was he a ghost? maybe.
but what if i chose to let go,
and i was wrong?
it felt right to believe in him. it really did.
i think i was wrong.
i usually am.
and all i see is that loving face
with those brown wonderful eyes,
as i slip into my eternal slumber
i'm sorry.