do you think that dreams come true? and how much control do we really have on those dreams?
in my opinion, dreams suck.
they're the one place that i can't find my masks to hide behind. i don't like my emotions, when they finally come out of my head they tend to explode...lol just ask the people that i live with at school...
dreams are the place where i can't be in denial anymore. and it really sucks. 3 different dreams last night. and i didn't like ANY of them..... sometimes they show me what i'm trying to hide from. feelings that i'm trying to figure out or suppress
there have been times when i've woken up smiling, or sobbing, or "hormonal" as hell....lol
and honestly, sometimes my dreams scare me. and i don't sleep that well.
i don't believe in that 11:11 make a wish, wishing on a shooting star, breaking the wishbone of a bird, or "somewhere over the rainbow".....
i think it's a waste of time.
there WAS time when i thought those things were fun, but life is just not that way. wishes don't come true unless you MAKE them come true. and that's not going to happen by wishing on a star, or by letting your emotions take control.
one of my favorite quotes is from the new alice in wonderland... "nothing was ever accomplished by tears"
i hate crying, and if you make me cry.... sometimes i'll cry harder just because i hate crying and it makes me angry!
look. i understand that there's a total difference emotionally between guys and girls. i mean duh, that's why women are meant to be the the nurturers in families. generally it's how women naturally behave.
and men are the protectors, at least, i hope they are. and sometimes, i just need to be held...and told that it's going to be ok. cuz i really don't feel ok. not now, and i haven't for a while. a girl can only comfort another girl so much... and men actually make pretty good springboards usually....
tears never bother me (whether from a guy or a girl), unless they are coming from my own eyes...
and then there's the asshole who decides that he needs to tell me to toughen up, and that it's just life. well guess what....i've been sucking it up. and it gets hard. and for crying out loud! i'm a GIRL!!! we have to talk stuff out or our brains explode. sometimes i want help fixing what's wrong, and if i do...I'LL EFFING ASK! but sometimes i just need to be comforted. and maybe get a hug and a kiss on the forehead. lol :)
my best friend mitch is really good at the comfort thing.... and i know that sometimes he feels like i just use him, but i honestly don't mean to. he also thinks that i subconsciously think of him as a "gay best friend" hahah but trust me, that is soooooo not true. lol oh the things that i hide from the world......
i miss him. i really do. and when he doesn't talk to me, my world starts to feel like it's falling apart. and i don't think he realizes how much i need him. or not even need, but want him in my life. i mean, jeez. he's a really smart guy.... i love him. he's one of the best friends a person could have. he's always got your back, he's smart, lol and pretty smooth too in all honesty, and he's funny as hell and can always make me laugh and brighten my day
people may think that i'm a heartless bitch if they don't know me. but trust me, sometimes i care TOO much and it ends up screwing me over.
hard.
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