well the holiday season has come and gone.... which is kinda funny because i don't really feel like i had a holiday. because aside from the week that i was able to spend in tucson with my family, i just worked and worked and worked.
and work can be super fun, don't get me wrong, but when it's all that you do and you don't really have friends it can be rough.
i used to be this super social person and have tons of friends and fun stuff to do all the time. now it seems like all i do is school, a full time job, and sleep. which is BORING! work is the most fun that i have all day. and THAT'S only because i work in the psych unit at work. lol those guy definitely can make me laugh :)
i love the residents that i help at my care facility. and i'm happy to say that i'm still one of those cna's that cares and really feels for the people that i take care of. i NEVER want to become one of those heartless and job-focused people. it's not who i am and those people drive me craaaazzzzyyyyyyy!!!!
anyways,
i'm feeling kinda depressed lately because of my lack of social life. and the fact that i'm trying so hard so save money for a car and all of these other stupid expenses keep getting in the way! school, textbooks, a new laptop (so that i can do my online classes with out worrying if my computer is going to crash in the middle of a paper or exam)..... ugh.
my home-teachers (who are awesome by the way) came over on sunday, and i have to admit that it was the highlight of my week! they talked about pres. monson's lessons on the ABCs. having a positive Attitude, Believing, and Courage. and i think that the one i have under control would be attitude. if you had asked me about 6 months ago what i thought i probably would have said courage. but i don't really know what's changed.....hmmmm
another reason i'm so anxious to get a car, is because i want to be able to go visit my grandpa's grave. and i don't want anyone else there. i REALLY want to go by myself.... i got a blessing from my bishop a couple weeks ago, and i feel like he talked about my grandpa a lot. and about how he's here for me.
it's different living here without him in the house. it definitely feels like somethings missing. and i'm so sad that i was stuck in alaska when he passed. and i'm extremely grateful that i was able to fly down for the funeral. i miss him.
between that and my lack of social life, i just feel really alone. i don't hang out with anyone....i feel like i don't have fun anymore.
new year? hmmm. this doesn't feel much different.
